A Reminder to Myself

Well, it has been ten months since my last blog post. Ten months to the day! How did I let that happen? I will tell you how: LIFE. I actually just read my last blog, and it served as a reminder to myself that it is ok to take breaks when needed, especially when we are all having to deal with a “new normal”.

When I started this blog, I was so excited to have an outlet to share my feelings, connect with others, and hopefully encourage at least one of you along the way. I had plans, aspirations, and nothing but time. Then God stepped in, and low and behold, He fulfilled a dream I had held in my heart for a while.

When I was little, I attended a wonderful little church preschool. I have fond memories of the water table, music class, and chapel time. I loved my teachers and the friends I made. My little sister and brother attended the same preschool, and even my sweet daughter was able to attend for a year. I have always wanted to teach at this school but never really felt like I was going to be able. You see, I was used to being the main source of income and insurance, and I knew there was no way I could afford to leave public education. Don’t get me wrong, I loved the schools I worked at, the colleagues I worked with, and the students I was blessed to call “my kids”. However, I just always had this desire to return to the school where it all started for me. I wanted to pour into littles and be a more present mom to my daughter. I wanted to volunteer at her school and join her for lunch. In early 2017, I thought all of that was happening! My husband and I felt like it was a good time for me to leave public education and spend some more time with my daughter while she was still young. There were teacher openings at the preschool, and I had a job interview lined up for the following school year. Then….

Yep. I peed positive. To be honest, I didn’t understand. I thought God was opening doors for me, and this pregnancy was going to slam them all shut. I had a hard time accepting and understanding what was happening in my life, but that’s because I was trying to use MY understanding. Proverbs 3:5 reminds us, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding.” God understood exactly what was happening, and He DID have a plan. I just couldn’t see it.

Fast forward to October 2017, when I accidentally fell on my pregnant belly, and thought I had hurt my baby. Mom rushed me to the ER, and Hubby met me there. I wasn’t due for another month, but the fall sent me into early labor. Since my precious boy was breech, I had to have a c-section the next morning! We welcomed our son, and ya’ll guess what happened the very next day? Hubby was offered a job, no a career, with a wonderful company. He would be able to become the bread winner and insurance provider. God sure knew what He was doing because not a month later, we started to notice some struggles my son was having. Those struggles are a story for another post, but long story short (which is never possible with me!) baby boy ended up having a rare genetic mutation, and he would need a lot of medical care. I ended up having to resign from my teaching position to care for him. I became a stay at home mom, and what’s even more funny, is that is another major dream I had as well, but I just always wrote it off as impossible. God was moving, but he wasn’t done just yet. Brother (one of my little guy’s nicknames) had to have a few surgeries and multiple therapies. We settled into our new normal, and I became a special needs mom. I have a dual certification in regular and special education, so I have worked with both. Again, God’s plan and His timing. Everything I had done and experienced in life up until that point had prepared me to be my son’s mom.

So let me get back to what I was stating in the beginning of this blog. Life happened in July of 2019, and I fell of the blogging train. I had set out on this new adventure fired up, but then God hit the pause button. But guess why He hit it y’all?!?! I reached out to that preschool again, just to see if maybe I could substitute teach. Brother was starting to stabilize, and my mom lives two streets away and is able to help care for him. Well, the director, who I had interviewed with two years prior, responded that she actually needed to fill some teaching positions! Was this real life? I met with her hoping to work a couple days a week, but she shared that she really needed a kindergarten teacher. In my heart, I was keeping my fingers crossed that she had an opening in one of the classes that meet Tuesdays, Wednesdays, and Thursdays. However, here she was sharing her heart letting me know that she had been unable to find someone to fill the kindergarten position, and it was a five day position. Could I handle five days? Could my mom watch my son for five days? I talked it over with my husband, prayed a lot, and felt like if she was willing to take a chance on me, I will take a leap of faith. I accepted and eagerly began to plan being back in the classroom. A few days later, while at the school, she pulled me aside to let me know that she no longer had the numbers for a second kindergarten classroom, but if I was interested she did still have an assistant opening. I told her I would love to be an assistant. With it being my first year back, and my son still not 100%, an assistant position would be great. I’m sure you guys will NEVER guys what days the class meets. Tuesdays, Wednesdays, and Thursdays! Psalm 37:4 states, “Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.” What a precious God! He knew what I longed for, and He allowed me to be in a position to achieve that dream.

Now here we are, ten months since my last post. I was blessed with an amazing job, and I have been enjoying all of the extra time with my two kiddos. Life has taken another unexpected turn, but this time almost everyone has felt the impact. We are all waiting and watching as this pandemic spreads. My family has been very cautious, because Brother is medically complex. We have prayed for protection and turned our fears over to God. Ultimately He is in control. I have made a little space for myself in a corner of the house, and my mom has generously let me borrow a laptop. So I am back to writing, sharing, and hopefully encouraging. Hopefully, it won’t be another ten months before I post again! Thank you for reading my long post, and I pray you and your family are well.